Careers

I am nearing the end of my high school years and I am beginning to layout the plans for the rest of my life. One problem is the fact that I have become very wish washy about the career path I would like to choose. I want to do something successful and make money but i also want to actually accomplish something and help people along the way.

I have thought of pursuing a field of medicine or possibly a military career. I find it very hard to decide quite yet but I know how important it is to prepare for the road ahead, if only I had a map of the road, but there are no maps to life. You are the one who has to sit down and draft up your design for the road your life may follow. I am preparing myself to go to college but I am not sure if it is what would best suit me.

Almost every male in my family has served in the military in one form or another and I would like to follow this same road but I have no clue as to what i would find myself doing.

Either way I am going to make a way for myself, no matter what.

Moving Out

When I first thought about moving out it seemed like it would be a very easy thing to do. I would just pack up and go; free to live my life the way I feel that I should live it. This however, was not the case. I have found it very difficult to actually leave, saying goodbye to a place that you loved for so long.
Breaking the news to my parents was probably the hardest step that I have to do because it was such a sensitive topic. I think that the hardest part about telling them will be how they take it. Would they be angry or upset that i had decided to fly the nest or would they be supportive and understanding of my decision to live out my life on my own with my own guidance. This may sound dumb, and people may ask why at only 17, you decide to move away from a place that provides support for you free of charge and cast yourself out into the world to be at it's mercy. Although, I love this place and it is tough to be on my own it will be a way of moving forward and breaking the bonds of old and starting a fresh new life.

Weekends

My weekends always seem to drag out for ages. I do wonder if its the long sleepless nights and the hardworking days that do it or if simply i am enjoying myself too much to worry about time. I always seem to find something to do to amuse myself if I have available time on the weekends but other wise I spend my time with those I love. My friends and family are my main thoughts for the weekend, what is everyone doing? Where do i need to go? How much money am i going to end up spending on stuff i really don't need. My weekends are the best part of the week, no worries in the world as long as I know I will have my time.

I should be...

Right now I am sitting at my desk writing a blog when i could be outside enjoying the world. I should be out with my friends causing all kinds of mischief and yet here i sit cemented to my chair tapping away at a keyboard. The thoughts of the outside world often fuel my writing but in the moments of which i need them most they have flown from my mind and I am left here staring blankly at my screen. I can not think of anything but what I must write when I should be thinking of what I am to do today. Although, my mind is far from empty i seem to only think of more letters that come streaming out of the depths of my mind and flow from my fingertips to this document. How very sad it is that these words do not describe the joys of which i could be having but they only describe the boredom and dreariness of this blog entry.

Tattoo

So I'm setting out to find my first tattoo and I'm putting in a lot of time to research exactly what i want but one thing really pops out at me that says "mark me on your body!!!" and that is the cover art for stubbs the zombie. Why deface my body with the image of a withering and rotting zombie about to devour the tasty brains of some innocent but insane looking poor soul? I have fond memories from years ago when i was much younger playing stubbs the zombie and having a blast also i really love zombies and what better a character than stubbs to pay tribute to the zombie nation!

Long Nights

Long nights drift by. I'm constantly moving always rocking like a boat. Flowing through the world into the open deep, falling through deep until i sleep. The next day it's right back at it again the vicious cycle of long nights short days and lots of work. Always time for something else to do but never time to relax and enjoy where you are. A rift of emotions hurdles through you then you hit the floor, rising up again you claim never, never more.
Always turning, always rolling, in this sea of glee enthralling oh how much effort is spent enduring the next event. Finally, we wander back to our homes our docks of rest to catch some z's, then fly the nest!

Sometimes I feel like a...

Somtimes i feel like a ship lost at see with no thought of returning home, until i finally see the beautiful beam from my savior lighthouse of hope that it will all be clear soon and i will find my way. At other times i feel like a champion slaying mighty beasts that others tremble in fear at, though they seem like mere lap dogs to me. Sometimes i feel like a rainy day, i may cause damages, pain, and may bring a darkness for a short period but i will soon mellow out and shed light on a beautiful Eden that i have sprouted in my wake.

But no matter what i feel like as long as I am still me, with all the feelings of being lost and of slaying mighty creatures to even feeling like a small cloud drifting of the earth, I am happy that i am myself.